Okay, this should be easy! Since we're all Pagans, it's clear we all are nature-based, so that should be our first dogma.
Excuse me, I don't consider myself nature based.
But, isn't Ra an aspect of the sun god? That makes you nature based!
No it doesn't.
Wait, let's not fight! I'm sure we can find something else we agree on. We all worship the goddess and god in many aspects, right?
No. I think all the gods are individuals.
Don't be silly, that's so primitive. No, it's beyond primitive, because our ancient ancestors all understood the fact that all gods are one god, all goddesses are one goddess. It's just the patriarchal Christian propaganda that made it look otherwise.
No it isn't, and I have the research to prove it...
Stay out of this, you patriarchal Greek worshiper!
Random New Ager:
Whoa, everyone calm down. It's fine that we don't all agree on that. But I'm sure we can all be one in the light!
No we can't. What about the darkness?
Darkness? Eewww, icky.
How about reincarnation?
No. When you're dead, that's it.
Unless you become a god!
*gasp* Who brought these evil ones here?!
They're not evil. They just haven't yet discovered that god is love and love is the universe! One day when they've vibrated to a higher level, they'll understand. But until then, don't worry, I'll save us with my rainbow rays of protective lovelight! *shoots rainbow rays at darksiders*
(Darksiders fall into a ball on the floor, gasping and choking)
Urgh... cough... your rainbow powers caught me off guard, but soon enough I will regain my composure and shield myself from your onslaughts through sheer will alone!
*plugs ears and starts singing 'we all come from the goddess'*
Your attempts at using your sheep-like faith in the powers of love to defend yourself from me is amusing, but I am a god and thus immune to your pitiful attacks.
Aaackk.... I'm blind... but as soon as I can see I'm cursing your ass!
I knew you weren't a real Pagan! Cursing is against the Rede! 'An it harm none, do what thou wi...' *thunk*
(Fluffy 2 falls dead, their weak mind apparently unable to withstand the strength of the recovered Setian's will)
You think you've just won, but wait till you get that back times three!
Oh, sure. I'm going to die three times because your little friend over there just couldn't take it.
Well, actually, according to Ram Dass...
*suddenly, the New Ager is crushed by the foot of some dark deity the Dark Pagan was invoking while everyone else was distracted. Fluff 1 resumes singing 'We all Come from the Goddess' in hopes of making it go away, but to no avail. Utter chaos insues...*